Meditation 101

I actually had no intention of joining this workshop group. Originally, I was to be in Spain through the middle of September. But when this wonderful man said he would tag along with me around Spain he also said he absolutely had to be back in time for this workshop. Well, I thought to myself, if he was so dead set on it maybe it would be interesting and useful for me too… I changed my return ticket immediately. Fast forward three months later and here we are at Osho-Nisarga.

When I was last here it was after 3 months of on and off, mostly on, living here, and 3.5 months for Nisarga. Both of us on our respective last day at the centre cried and cried and felt so emotional to leave this nest which had looked after us with such love and care, and which served as a compassionate womb overseeing such critical transformations in each of us. So it was like returning to our second home. But now we were returning as a couple, booked in a room together officially, and so it was like returning home grown up a bit. And there were Ma Neelam and Tatagarth to welcome us home. It felt like we had not really left in fact.

So what was so important about this course? Why did Nisarga feel such urgency to be back for it? I never really asked or thought about it. Once I changed the ticket it was done and I didn’t give the course much thought. The title… “self-discovery”. Based on this, I was not expecting silent sitting; I wasn’t sure what to expect but I didn’t think it would include silent sitting. I was wrong! And what a beautiful surprise!

Kamaal, the workshop leader, designed these 4.5 days so that they would serve more like a meditation 101 class; useful to

total beginners as well as those who have been meditating for some time. So since several of you have asked for us to share more about the courses/ workshops/ meditations/ groups/ processes we participate in, what follows are highlights (based on my opinion of course) of this workshop

on “self-discovery”. The course aimed to cover the fundamentals of meditation in theory and practice.

Theory:

* There is a triangle and at one point is the mind, at another the body, and at the other feelings and emotions. And there is a circle connecting these points and encompassing the triangle. The “self” is in the middle of this triangle. The “self” is more than the mind, more than the body, more than the emotions. Even more than the sum of these three.

* Once you start experiencing, not just believing theoretically, that “I” am not the mind, “I” am not the body, and “I” am not the emotions, then you can stand back and observe these three elements without getting swept up by them and lost within them. This detachment from the body, thoughts and emotions is what ultimately can set you free from any misery and lead you to peace and harmony.

* What is meditation? It is a state of relaxed self-awareness. This can be broken down into three components with these helpful tips: comfortable and alert = posture is important and the spine should be straight; present here and now = focus on the breath and the five senses; self-awareness = observe yourself at the physical level, your thoughts, and your emotions or any feelings that are coming up. The easiest entry point is to observe yourself at the physical level, to be aware of your body.

* So is a great formula 1 race driver, or a carpenter, or a surgeon a meditator? They have to be super focused, very present here and now, to win (or even finish) the race, or not saw off a finger or two, or operate. So does this make them a great meditator? No. Why? Because they are focusing outward. Their attention, awareness, energy is on the outside world, they are not observing themselves in the process.

* If something is in the past or the future there is no point worrying about it; it has already happened and past, or it has not happened yet and worrying is not going to help in any way. If there is worry about the present and there is something you can do about it, then do something instead of just worrying.

* Truth is the mind is a worrying machine, if there is nothing to worry about it will create/ rehash something to worry about. That is its main function, what it thrives on. Worrying!

* What is the present? Whatever is here and now! What is here and now? Whatever enters through one of your sense doors, in this moment, just now, and now, and now, and now… If it’s not now, then it’s not the present, it’s not here.

Practical Aspects:

* What does it mean to practice meditation? It means to practice self-awareness. This can happen in silent still sittings, or in action. Either way, the point is to return to the present, to the here and now.

* While in meditation remember… and apply… one golden rule: NO THOUGHT IS WORTH FOLLOWING… without exception! No, really, without exception! No, really, not following at all, no, not even just a little, no, not for just a bit; when you become aware of the thought, let it go, drop it, don’t cling or hold on to it, return to self-observation (the breath, body sensations, stimulus of the senses).

* During meditation if a storm comes (if you simply can not stop worrying about something) then sometimes it is better to simply stop meditating and sort it out, or even simply try to go deeper and get to the root of what this worry is really about, and then return to the meditation free of this worry.

* Some thoughts will always come, some feelings will always come up, some physical sensation will always be there, and you may label it positive or negative. Meditation is not about managing to sit for whatever period of time without any thoughts or feelings or physical manifestations. It is about remaining aware of reality, of the present. And as soon as you are aware that the thread is lost you return to the present, and when the thread of consciousness is lost again you return to the present again, and again, and again. So basically not being completely swept away by the river of thoughts flowing or the river of emotions overflowing.

The more and more you can return to your breath or senses, the more there will be gaps (moments) of no distractions. And then these gaps will last longer. This silence, this stillness, this void… is meditation. And once you start experiencing these more and more, then when thoughts, sensations or emotions come you will not be so easily distracted as before; you won’t be so easily hooked and carried away. And this will automatically carry over to other realms of your life; for example you won’t be so easily carried away by anger or jealousy, you won’t be such a slave to hunger or an itch or sexual arousal, or space out for so long planning years ahead or reacting to a situation based on what happened 25 years ago. And slowly life becomes a conscious choice, lived fully, moment to moment.

Once you become self-aware, aware of yourself, then you have a choice. You can choose to continue with… anger, lust, guilt, screaming, feeling depressed, fantasizing, itching, lying, planning, regretting, lamenting, practicing conversations that haven’t happened, “reliving” scenes that have happened, arguing, drama scenes, picking your fingers, vengeance, stubbornness, confusion, judgements, bossing others around, or whatever it is. Or you can choose to drop it. To just stop. But even if you do not stop, can not stop, you have seen yourself. You have witnessed yourself. You were not completely asleep, mechanically reacting, doing. That means the observer in you was seen, was heard, was felt, even for just a moment. Sometimes we refer to that as “the little voice inside”… that we didn’t pay attention to and only really heard in retrospect after it was all said and done. The more we pay attention to this voice, the more we can just stop instead of getting completely carried away, and we may start to make decisions inspite of ourselves, our fears, personalities, comfort zones, etc. Because now we will be following our inner guidance, which is connected to the universal truth.

It is said that in these gaps, these moments of silence and stillness, you can hear your soul, you can connect to the source, feel oneness, unity. This is when you can connect to your inner master, the godliness within you. It is always there, you simply aren’t always listening or aware.

Useful Exercises:

We worked with another person, facing each other and staring in each other’s eyes. One person would ask one of the following questions, and the other person would answer with just one word or at most a phrase. As soon as the response came, the person asking would repeat the same question. Another answer would come and again the same question was repeated. We continued like this for 5 minutes or so. Then the roles would reverse. The person asking is meant to not show reactions or make comments at the answers, he or she is like a mirror, but probing. He or she is not meant to say anything else, as in no conversations or exchanges, simply state and re-state the question. The person answering is not meant to think about it. He or she is meant to respond without thinking, based on emotions or gut answers. The question repeats every 5-10 seconds if the person answering has not come up with an answer. The pair are meant to continuously stare into each other’s eyes during this process.

(If you would like to try this alone, you can do it facing the mirror and just state the question in your head repeatedly; but believe it or not it’s actually easier to be nakedly honest with another person there probing.)

• What can I say that would make you feel good?
• What can I say that would make you feel bad?

Don’t hold back. Be brutally honest. “That I am pretty/ handsome” or do you really mean “that I am stunning, sexy, amazing, traffic stopping, accident making…” You get the point.

• What are you afraid of?
• What do you want/ desire/ wish for?

The answers to these can be mundane, regular, superficial, what we may consider insignificant, as well as crisis or momentous or life changing events or things. The whole range. From wanting a café latte to wanting to experience true love. From fearing farting in public or spiders, to rape. Everything!

Fear and love can not coexist. In order to walk further into love, you must drop your fears as you go. Fear may still arise of course,

but if you consciously want to go into love you will not follow it and sacrifice love. You will not make decisions based on or from a space of fear.

• What do you worry about? What is here and now?

For this last bullet there are two questions. After the first answer comes, lets say “not being able to loose weight”, then the person asking follows up with “what is here and now”… and inevitably most of what we are worrying about (and we are constantly worrying about something) has nothing to do with the present moment. In other words, not only are we not present, not in reality, not here right now, but we are also spending our energy on something we can not do anything about right now anyway.

Another way to do this last one is to list out on a piece of paper what are you worrying about right now. Write for 5-10 minutes; don’t think, just write, whatever comes comes. Then go back and see how many things on the list refer to the future, and how many things refer to the past. In other words, are you living more in the future or the past? Either way you aren’t living in the present but at least you get to understand yourself a bit better. Of course if you are more preoccupied with the future right now, later on today you might be more preoccupied with the past. Everything changes, but usually there are patterns.