About Us

traveling around, India
sanyasins, seekers, travellers, companions,life lovers...

thank you for joining us on these journeys...

internal, external, individual, shared, in place, in movement, with friends, with family, with lovers, with strangers, with soul mates, with teachers, with guides, in body, in formlessness, through fire and heat, with rains and oceans, with breezes and storms, under the stars and the moon and the sun and the planets, with dust and dirt and mud, with flowers and butterflies, with arousing smells, in mind, in the heart, in the soul, in spirit, in this life time, in past life times, through time, in timelessness, in laughter, in tears, with screams of joy fear and pain, in silence, linear, clear, vague, zigzag, full of curves, with tons of detours, with a purpose, without a destination...

(if you wish to view any of the pictures posted in the blog in larger format, click on the picture with your mouse and it will popup as a full screen picture. use the back arrow to go back to the post once you are done viewing the enlarged picture)

Friday, February 20, 2009

before and after...



convinced nisarga to grow his hair, as in on top of his head, until... ??? that was in november. he accepted the challenge, but added facial hair to the list. well, 3 months later and lots of goan heat and it's time to shave! but the head hair grows on!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

CooCoo's Kisses

Nisarga has gone to an acupuncturist before, and has experienced great results. So he decided to go again, to speed up the healing process for his leg and ankle, for his psoriasis, and for the lump by his ear. This CooCoo guy was at the Osho commune for a few years back in the ‘80s and now has his place in Goa close enough to Akash’s. Nisarga decided to give it a shot. I said sure, why not, i’ll go too. I had never been to any “faith healers” as Akash puts it, and although acupuncture has now become pretty main stream in many places, i would still categorize CooCoo as a faith healer

He diagnoses you largely by reading your pulse. Then there is a technique where his assistants poke a bunch of holes on you with a needle, based on where he says to poke, and then a suction cup is placed around there and the blood is drawn. Maybe it’s my public health background but this reminded me of a modern version of leeches. The longer the marks last the more toxins that were there to be taken out. Mine lasted over a week. Guess i was in pretty bad shape.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

valentine's day cast

so nisarga was so excited. sooooo soooooooo excited that it was time to take off his cast. mind you he had been looking at this dam beach for way too many days and was generally all around frustrated with having only one useable leg. according to the second set of doctors, the fancy ones in Udaipur, he could have his cast off around now. nothing like faith i tell you! he made an appointment for valentines day to remove his cast, after another round of xrays of course, and proceeded to stand IN the ocean with both feet. he reasoned that he didnt care, the cast was suppose to be waterproof, and he was to have it removed the next day. waterproof as in if it rains or something spills on it, not if you have the ocean coming over you. anyway, he went to bed that night, friday the 13th, with one leg in a soaked cast and a wide smile on his face.

the next day we turn up at the hospital and... the xrays show that the bone hasn't healed. it needs another 2 weeks minimum and he needs to lay with his leg elevated as much as possilbe. he is obviously pissed. poor nission!!! he starts to negotiate with the doctor for less time. ahhhhh, my little white indian! he decides he'll cut it off himself if the doctor doesnt cut it off. he's fet up. hello?!?!?! that is your ankle right? as in what supports the walking process. anyway. ok. so what to do? we have to leave with our tales between our legs.

oh wait! but the current cast is soaked. i insist that they change it. there was no way that it could be healthy for him to wear that for another 2 weeks. nisarga resists because he knows that it's painful when there's a change of cast. well, you wanted to jump in the ocean, now you gotta pay the price buddy. so the doctor agrees, after we explain what actually happened, and laughs. in honor of valentine's day... he applies a bright pink cast! ha!!!

so happy valentine's everyone!!!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

the last piece of the puzzle...

The bike arrived today. The final logistical piece in the 2.5 week puzzle of “what do we do now?” Not only managing to get us from place to place in a way that was acceptable and feasible for Nisarga and in a way that was also manageble for me, but also getting the bike to our final destination: Goa. So here it is. All reasons to worry gone, over and done with. Even if it takes Nisarga longer to heal and be able to drive, we are in an area where we can relax, have access to delicious food and plenty of fruits, participate in numerous types of self discovery and self growth processes, where we can enjoy the sun during the day and sleep outside under the stars, moon, and palm trees with a nice breeze. The bike is with us, and we don’t have to be anywhere until April!

So with no more excuses to worry, coordinate, plan, manage, or a list of things to follow up on... within a few hours i felt myself literarly crashing. With no more of me to give, no more of me to share in touch or in words, exhausted, weak, drained empty.

And so, the healing process goes deeper, the letting go goes deeper, the conscious awareness increases

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

constipated...

I am constipated. What i did not realize is that it is in part due to feeling constipated. Sure i have had way too many rotis, paranthas, heavy, greasy home cooked indian food lately, and then indulged in ice creams, home made cookies and pasta and plenty of other things my body was not hungry for but my palate wanted. Constipation is definitely not something i experience often, so it’s noticeble when it happens in me. I am the kind of person who poos every morning between 6-8 like clockwork. It’s like my alarm clock!

Today, when i started working with Akash i realized this constipation goes far beyond the physical state. It’s how i feel. Akash asked me what my goal or desire was for myself as we work over the next week every day. My response: I don’t know. I haven’t taken the time, made the time, to really be in touch with myself since this accident. I haven’t been by myself. I don’t know what i want for myself. I do know that i have a lot of feelings which have built up inside and which i have not had the chance to express or let go. I know there are things brewing, simmering, slowly churning inside under a layer of efficiency, coordinating, managing, figuring out the next set of logistics, a huge shield of a mask of “doing”...

And so, with our first meditation, of free expression of anything and everything except words, i realized i’m constipated. I feel emotionally heavy, stiff. I know i have anger, frustration, fear, sadness, pain, etc inside to release but not much came out. And so, with our first meditation, and subsequent Gurdjieff movements class, i start taking my anti-constipation medicine. I start centering and looking inside. I start containing my energy instead of letting it all spill out, throwing it out. I start to get in touch with myself, and i start another small but important cycle of expression, of truth, of healing, of letting go.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

retreat

After a 14 hour overnight bus ride from hell, going from Bombay to Goa along the curvy Konkan coast at top speed, we reached my teacher’s place (Akash). I met Akash October 2005, just the day after receiving personal news that left me devestated like none other ever had, and which changed the course of my life forever. Given my state of mind and emotions at the time: I was a mess! i couldn’t stop crying for longer then 1-2 hours for those first 3-4 days. Helplessness, guilt, anger, fear, frustration, and so many other inner demons were surfacing all at once and very strongly. But this state of being also left me open, vulnerable, my guard/ shield was down. The universe was very kind to cross our paths at that point, and Akash has been my teacher ever since.

She is the best mirror i have ever found, and whatever game i am playing, whatever issue i’m dealing with, she has already gone through something similar. She’s a trained psychologist (western standard type), but she is also a sufi (she began her work with sufis in Kashmir when she was 19), an alternative healer (including reiki master, pranic healing teacher, colors, crystals, auroma therapy), uses transactional analysis, she’s an Osho sannyasin, an accomplished potter, and a Gurdjieff teacher. She is truly an amazing package! She combines eastern and western techniques, mind, body, emotional and creative approaches. At her place in the mountains there is a ceramics studio, in Goa we mosaic the floors and mirrors, paint murals inside and outside the house, and cook up dishes! As soon as i realized that we would have limited mobility for a month due to Nisarga’s ankle needing time to heal, i knew it was an opportunity to work with Akash! No doubt about it.

The fact that we would be based in Goa for 3 weeks made it an easier sell to Nisarga, who had never met Akash before. So here we are! And the running theme at this time at Akash’s is Freedom! Freedom to do whatever you really want to do, and with the acceptance of whatever happens subsequently.

We have settled into the large bedroom upstairs (with Nisarga having to hop up and down 3 times per day for meals), which comes with a large balcony which has hammocks and is surrounded by palm trees and flowers. We put out the mosquito netting and take the mattresses out in the evening and sleep naked on the private back balcony under the palm trees, watching the stars and moon slowly, effortlessly, glide across the sky, while a breeze carresses us throughout the night. Every morning for a week i will participate in meditation and Gurdjieff movements from 9-12. Nisarga spends this time on his own, meditating, sun bathing naked, giving himself oil rubs and salt baths, healing. We have breakfast, lunch and dinner here, and if and as often as we’d like we can prepare whatever dish we want. We are not by the beach and there are no tourists around, this is a residential area with dogs and palms. We can always take a 15 minute rickshaw ride to the beach if we feel like it. There is no TV or radio, no internet, and the phone only gets reception on the balcony. There is plenty of time for reading, yoga, meditating, healing, being.

Nisarga described it as his “dream house.” We are so blessed to be on this retreat!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

the pheonix ashram...

Nisarga didn’t initially want to come through Bombay, he was willing to go straight from Udaipur to Goa on the train, a journey of over 2 days. But I insisted on cutting the trip in half, and spending quality time with Harris, a good friend who lives here. I met Harris in 2004, when we were on the same fellowship but he was based in Washington DC and was visiting Delhi for work. In subse
quent years he spent 2 summers in Delhi and stayed with me. He then decided to do his PhD research in Bombay and has been here since October.

When he welcomed us to his place he said it was his turn to provide us with a place of refuge, as i
had done for him in Delhi. And so it has been! By the end Nisarga even started to call it the Pheonix Ashram (Harris’s apartment building is called Pheonix).

The three of us had one outing, to go see Slum Dog Million
aire. Other than that we ordered in or Harris and I went shopping for supplies and cooked at home. We stuffed ourselves with scrumptous fish, prawns, squid and vegetables, and rich all natural coconut, fig, and chikoo ice creams. With Harris as head chef and me as assistant and dish washer, we made home made pasta and then pumpkin ravioli, roasted fresh figs with balsamic vinegar, made pumpkin cookies, and had thin crust home made pizza! Ther
e was couch therapy and taking the big leap to join facebook for me, and Nisarga devoured Paulo Coelho’s 11 Minutes. We finally had the freedom to run on our own rhythm including taking all morning to do nasal cleansings and yoga for me, and oil rubs and energy healing for Nisarga. We called our mothers on skype, made lists of things to bring in a suitcase from the US (including bacon bits and swiffer towels), gossiped, caught up and hung out with each other.

While in the heart of a city of 17 million, we found the Pheonix Ashram was a deep breath of fresh air for both of us. Thank you Harris!