on march 21st nisarga made me an offer i couldnt resist. he asked me to marry him. i had my suspisions that this was in the works, i know him well and during a couple of our phone conversations while we were apart for 3 weeks prior to this, him in poland me in goa still, there was something fishy! his father didnt help when he called the day before nisarga proposed, asked to speak to me, and told me how happy he was that we were finally getting married... he didnt realize nisarga hadnt asked yet. oooopsssss
so we went to the highest point in warsaw, the top of the cultural tower, nisarga said he wanted to address his fear of heights. later he would tell me that he wanted to be as close to the sky as possible. as we parked i knew what this was about and i couldnt help it, i screamed!!! he asked me what was wrong and i laughed, and said "oh nothing, im just a bit of a mess this morning". he tortured me by suggesting we walk around the exhibit on the ground floor first. i wanted to yell: co
me on now! do it!!! just do it!!! ask me!!!!. but i didnt. i read the sign boards. then we went to the top floor and he asked me if i wanted to get a drink first, i quickly responded no! we walked slowly around the viewing area and looked out at warsaw in the different directions. this was the first day of spring technically, but it was quite gray and drizzling on and off. it was also the 2 year anniversary of when he took sannyas with osho, and for me it had been the day before. so lots to celebrate already... so ask me damn it!!!!
finally, he told me to face forward, hugged me from behind, brought out the ring on my right side and asked to my left ear: will you marry me? since i had already spazzed out i was quite, i smiled, got teary eyed, hugged him, wished i could have teleported us back to bed under the covers to snuggle up for the rest of the day... and thats when my mother called! bless her!!! yup. her timing couldnt be more on the mark! wow. so nisarga answered and asked if it was ok with her for him to marry me, that he had just asked me and i said yes but he wanted to check with her. (he had thought to ask her before asking me... thank god he didnt actually do that!) given our proximity to the gods the reception was bad and she couldnt make out what he was saying in the beginning. then she was in shock and kept asking if this was a joke. then he suggested that she think about it and we all talk later that night. i reassured her that it was not a joke and that we can talk later. it took her about 15 minutes to get herself together and call back, we were still up high so still bad reception but she was excited and said yes and blabbed on. i told her that we needed to talk later and that i wanted to get back to my proposal.
later on the evening nisarga called my brother to inform him and ask him if it was ok with him. joe said yes. and the same with my father. he called his father and mother to tell them. his father was particularly impressed with nisarga having spoken to my family as well.
we went to lunch at a friends as planned and when he said he had an announcement they both loooked at me and said in unison: you're pregnant! nope, im not, in case anyone else out there is wondering. thanks magdas!
nisarga's first clarification after all the yeses were in: ok, you arent taking my last name, fine, but the kids get my last name right??? right honey!
over the following several days i asked myself how i really wanted to commemorate this legal union. at first i said i didnt want anything, it doesnt matter, we can just sign papers anywhere and then have celebrations wherever we go. real abstract. but as i thought about it more i realized i do know what i want. i want my mother and brother to be with me. that REALLY matters to me. i want us all to meditate together and have a very intimate private exchange of vows. i want those present: my mother and brother and sister in law to be part of the vows, sharing with us how they will support us and for us to share with them what we need. i want to have fun and celebrate grandiosely. i dont need a white dress, a cake, a huge reception, a church ceremony or any of that. i want support, love and laughter!!! i shared this vision with nisarga and he said he had to think about it. he had already said he wanted to get married over the summer, in the US. its true that its easier there then here in poland if you do things the traditional way. so he accepted my request, adding last night: whatever we do in vegas, lets do it with joy and happiness!
and of course this is when things started to get out of hand. i mean... my mom with her excitement about it all; my brother eloped so this is her last chance at having some kind of wedding for her offspring... and being mother of the bride!... and his father and mother with expectations for a church wedding and an all night drunkfest ceremony. well... as of right now we will be in vegas for 3 days and 2 nights with my mom and joe and akiko, celebrating with good food, awesome shows and each other. 08-09-10! mom is having the floor redone in the living room and a deck put in so that she can host 25-30 members of her family in september in our honour, this way nisarga can meet everyone in one go and i can see everyone too. the last family reunion i attended was just before i left for india almost 7 years ago. nisarga still has to see what he really wants to do with the polish side of things, that will come with time.
hope we see you somewhere soon to toast together, to celebrate love and hope with joy and happiness!!!
e. we stayed with this wonderful cou
ple!!! they were the most hospitable people i have ever met. really!!! ok, i havent been to turkey yet, i know. we had great conversations, great food, great wine, lots of time to sleep in in the morning, a few hours of walking around the different old towns and looking at all the amber around!!! wow.. beautiful. nisarga wanted to get my mom something as a thank you for accepting him in the family so we picked her out a beautiful amber earring and necklace set. got my belated christmas gift too!!! i was so happy to have waited. ha!!!
